DQ. “In a twist no one saw coming, an astronomer has named Gwyneth Paltrow as a ‘temporary spokesperson’ following the sudden resignations of the CEO and HR executive — all sparked by the Coldplay Kiss Cam scandal.”

In a bizarre turn of events that’s more Hollywood than headquarters, an astronomer has named actress and wellness mogul Gwyneth Paltrow as the organization’s “temporary spokesperson” following the abrupt resignations of both the CEO and HR executive.

The shake-up comes on the heels of a viral Coldplay Kiss Cam incident that spiraled into corporate chaos, leaving the company scrambling to manage public fallout and internal tension.

While details about the Kiss Cam drama remain murky, sources say the moment—originally meant to be light-hearted—triggered a chain reaction that exposed deep rifts within the organization’s leadership. The resignations were swift, unexpected, and left a gaping hole in the company’s communication strategy.

Enter Gwyneth Paltrow.

The Academy Award-winning actress and founder of lifestyle brand Goop is no stranger to controversy herself, but this latest role has raised more than a few eyebrows. According to insiders, she was tapped by a senior astronomer who claimed the company needed “a voice of calm, wellness, and celestial clarity.”

Social media, of course, erupted with confusion, memes, and some sharp commentary:

“From Hollywood to HR cleanup duty? Gwyneth stays booked and unbothered.”

At press time, neither Paltrow nor the astronomer had issued a formal statement, though Goop’s website briefly featured a cryptic headline: “Mercury Isn’t the Only Thing in Retrograde.”

Whether this is a PR stunt, an act of desperation, or a stroke of genius remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure: even the stars couldn’t predict this plot twist.

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